I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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