Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
