Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
