ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
