my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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