she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
