wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
