i need an iv and a liver transplant
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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