it wasn't lemon gatorade
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
