So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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