it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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