Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
