I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
