i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
