I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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