felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
