Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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