I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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