just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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