Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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