I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just google imaged poop.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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