Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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