There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
