so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
