Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you have to choose: penises or morals?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
