chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
