I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
