You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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