If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
