so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
