Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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