Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
