oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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