is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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