Even the bartender felt bad for me
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
