Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
