So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
