did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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