just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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