I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
