So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
