if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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