see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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