So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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