You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
