I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
