love makes seman taste better
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
