it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
