People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
