so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
